Remembering the days when I danced and did performances is helping me, even though as I heal from the strokes I may not get back to where I was (can we ever go back?), I believe I will be able to do it in a new way. Even when I did these dances, I never felt well, as I've had health challenges for a long time. Recovering from the strokes is much more challenging and is going slowly, but it is happening.
This photo was taken during a performance at Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington, NY in July, 2011 at a special event honoring Vic Skolnick one year after his passing. I did the performance with my friend William Kruhmin. The Cinema showed the film Cherry Blossoms after our performance and a Cherry Blossom Tree was planted in his honor in their beautiful garden.
William and I had rehearsed for this and had a framework for the performance which was to be contained within a Circle in the brickwork in the garden. The story of our performance was about the gifts we are left with after those we love pass into spirit (gifts represented by roses). I chose a piece of music from the film, Chinsagu No Hana. I represented one of spirit beginning the performance by descending the stairs into the circle, and William was already in the circle and stayed there the whole time. To our dismay, as the music began, I heard that it had been cut in half! It was starting in the middle! Oh my... I wasn't sure what to do.... probably nobody knew, but I feel our performance would have been stronger if we had done it as we planned with the full piece of music. So here we were, on the spot, having to tell the same story in half the time. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I stared off into space and spoke the words, "This is not the beginning," hoping to alert the sound guy. He didn't hear me, but people were watching and probably thought that was part of the performance. So all we could do was move forward. I had a dozen pink roses that I placed around the circle as I danced.... some people reached for them, but I was a spirit and placed them on the ground around the circle. William began moving around the circle on the opposite side, picking them up and gifting them to people in the audience around us. Eventually we met in the center of the circle and our movements echoed each others.... symbolizing that all our relationships are but a brief and beautiful encounter with another soul. As the music was about to end, I made my way slowly back up the staircase, out of the Circle (life) and William stayed there, holding a rose.
Thanks to William for making it possible. I was so grateful to be able to offer this, as the Cinema Arts Centre is one of the most important places in our community. It was an honor to perform there.
The thing about Cherry Blossoms (Sakura) and why they are so celebrated each year is because they only burst into bloom for a short couple of weeks before they pass. It's so important to grasp beauty, love, joy, life when we have it because nothing lasts forever. Everything is temporary.
The circle paintings I am doing now are a way to accept the present moment whatever it brings, and usually... I would venture to say that always... there is something to find joy in, to sing about, to dance about, to love. In each moment. Even Sensei Kazuo Ohno (one founder of butoh), before he passed at age 104 and could hardly move, still continued to dance with just his eyes.
