As many people do, I had big plans for 2022. There were things I was going to build on that I had already started. There were things I was going to resurrect in a new way. There were things. Then on the morning of January 21st, I had a stroke. The right side of my body was becoming paralyzed, quickly. I kind of knew what was happening and reached for the phone, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to speak and move as I tried to reach out for help. Thankfully, I got through and help came.
Long story short, I made it to the hospital quickly enough to be administered the drug TPA which, in ischemic strokes, can reverse the effects. That’s exactly what happened while I was still in the Emergency Room and I remember the absolute joy at being able to move my hand again, smile, speak, move my leg. But, recovery takes a very long time. I walk very, very slowly and with a cane. My right hand is still a bit weak (one of the reasons I push myself to draw and paint as often as I can, to use my muscle memory to rebuild circuitry in my brain). Dealing with details is still challenging. In April I had another incident, this time a TIA, and it put me a few steps backwards. But I am recovering.
In February, not long after I got out of the hospital, I went to a friend’s art group on Zoom, not knowing what I would do, if anything, but just wanting to reach out and see what might happen. I drew a circle. I remembered the mandalas I was drawing in recent years that brought me so much peace. This time it was a mandala, but only looked like a circle. Even though the center appears to be empty, it is complete.
I began painting circles after that and you can see the ones I have created so far in Gallery 1 here on my website. In the video I made about them, I am speaking a bit better now than I was in the video, though there are days when the fatigue hits me so badly that my speech slurs. It will be a while before I recover fully, if I do. Here is a link to the video: https://youtu.be/a4ddKTg5InI
The circle continues to be my main subject matter. It is so many things. But, most of all, it is healing. It is a way to find peace in the present moment.
